By Katarzyna Oskarbska
A few years ago I had the opportunity to work alongside a charming couple. They were both in their seventies and had been married for almost fifty years. (Congratulations!!!). They had their daily routine, which I thought was lovely. Every day they would travel to work together. In the morning he would make coffee for both of them, and then every afternoon they would have lunch together. At the end of the day she would stay after work waiting until he finished, and then they would travel home together, keeping each other company during the forty minute train commute.
As Valentine’s Day approached, I asked her whether they had made any plans. Sometimes it seems the intense commercialization of this holiday almost forces people to do something special on that day. Her response was along those lines: “We have Valentines everyday. Everyday is very special for us and we celebrate our love every single day.” Mind you they have been together for almost fifty years!!! Seeing them at work I could state without any hesitation that they were clearly in love and it was a pleasure to look at them and see affection emanating from them.
As Valentines Day approaches I’ve been thinking about couples who are planning for that day; how to make it special, what would be the perfect gift, opportunity to make love etc. When everything seems to be going perfectly, couple forgets about recent fights they’ve had, or problems they might have.
Then, Valentine Days passes and they are going back to old routines and having fights again. They forget about intimacy and sex, and everything is back to “normal”. But is it really normal? Why can’t we celebrate our love everyday, like that couple I knew? Why do we instead tend to break up, separate or divorce right when we have serious problems, instead of resolving them?
Instead of spending money on chocolates, dinner, flowers… why don’t you really invest in your relationship and get some couples counseling. One of the best ways to do this is come for a relationship check-up with your loved one. Maybe an open and honest conversation with your partner and one of our therapists will result in a long-lasting and fulfilling relationship and allow you to celebrate your love everyday, not only on this one day of the year. Sure, presents and dinners are great, but think about how you can offer real value to your relationship.
In the spirit of St. Valentine, I’m happy to offer couples an additional 30 minutes free on their first session. Contact me for more details: firstname.lastname@example.org