For lifestylers and indubitable kinksters, the idea of kink as the most prevailing aspect of one's sexuality is not new. Healthy sexuality can be as kinky or as vanilla as one likes (one day we'll have better words to describe the breadth of sexual experience), but in a society that indoctrinates shame when it comes to even the most tame sexual acts, as therapists we know the amount of shame and secrecy kink brings with it. We applaud the type of research and reflection that puts kink into mainstream channels, so as to assist with the self-acceptance piece that is so important to helping clients take control of their own sex lives (instead of being dogged by their irrational beliefs about what sex "should" look like). Remember, anytime you find yourself saying what sex "should" be like, you are probably regurgitating shame you don't need.
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