Just finished a great workshop given by the super informative and very funny S. Bear Bergman here at the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit. It focused on the wide range of trans* pleasure available, no matter where you fall on the spectrum. By spectrum, I mean whether you identify as trans*, genderqueer, gender-nonconforming or queer (to mention a few labels); whether you choose hormone therapy or surgery or none; OR, maybe your partner is trans* and you are not. Cisgendered people (whose assigned sex at birth matches their gender experience) can definitely benefit from learning about the gender-hacking sex that trans* folks are having!
The workshop began the conversation by listing the many words that folks on both the trans-masculine and trans-feminine spectrums use to name body parts. This can be complex for everybody, of every type of sexuality. It got me thinking about how difficult it is for so many non-trans* individuals to talk about their bodies and negotiate during sexual play, despite their experience being normalized. Is it because they feel they must rely on biological language that desexualizes their experience, or use slang that never felt comfortable? I invite everybody to get in touch with their sexual anatomy, proper terminology and all, but then go ahead and call it what you want. It's yours after all, and only you can communicate what your body likes at a given time. And to that end, I'll finish this post how Bear ended the workshop, "If a partner doesn't want to put your comfort on the top of their list, put your pants back on & leave."
Here's the list we came up with:
What do you call your sexual anatomy?