Why Are We Our Own Worst Enemy?

By: Courtney Stevenson

One of my favorite quotes regarding change is “Change happens when the pain of the same is greater than the pain of change.”

Change, even positive change, is difficult. As a therapist, I have heard questions such as, “I know what I need to do, but why can’t I just seem to do it?” or “Why do I keep on going back to the same thing even though I know it’s unhealthy?” Often times, it’s a sneaky form of self sabotage. You may be in an unhealthy, negative, even painful situation, but in a way, there is safety in it. It’s like an odd type of security blanket. It may be painful, but hey, at least you know it. You know what to expect, you know what to feel, and you even know how to relate to yourself in it. Getting out of the situation or cycle… well, that is stepping into the land of the unknown. Sure, you know it’s healthier and more positive, but it’s also new. You don’t know what to expect or what you may feel, and sometimes, you may have to learn how to relate to yourself in a new way. So what do you do? You stay. You stay in the comfort of the same, even if it is hurting you. Or maybe, just maybe, you no longer allow yourself to be motivated by the fear of the unknown, and you take a step in a new direction. And sure, it’s hard and it’s new and even uncomfortable at times, but we, as humans, are quite adaptable, so you learn and navigate through this unchartered territory. Before long, you will find that you did it, and you are in a healthier, more positive place.

The great news is, you don’t have to do it alone. Use your resources, whether it be a strong support system, such as friends or family, or find a therapist who you can relate to and stop the self-sabatoge. If you are interested in therapy and getting out of unhealthy patterns, schedule with or contact me at www.mytherapist.info/courtney. It always starts with one step.

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