In our last entry, we posted about the need for Permission when it comes to sexual expression. And this need is often arises from the second reason people seek out sex therapy - Limited Information.
Let's think back to the sex education we might have had in our lives- both formal and informal. Mine included maybe an hour spent in the boys locker room watching a video about puberty and STI's taught be the PE teacher. It also included finding my dad's porn stash (which included the classic "Debbie Does Dallas"), and whatever silly talks I had with my peers growing up in the pre-internet dark ages.
With the birth of the internet, people certainly have the POTENTIAL for a lot more information, but the quality of that information is still questionable. Not to mention very little of formal information on human sexuality out there focuses on pleasure. When did you learn that masturbation feels good, is good for you, and is a great way to get to know your body before you share sexual expression with someone else? That info is out there, of course, but it can get lost in the din of No Wanks, No Fap, 12 Step porn addiction pseudoscience. And most of that is just focused on MEN. Where did you hear about female masturbation at all? Surely not in the locker room filmstrip taught by the PE teacher.
Enter the sex therapist. You've grown up and entered into the stage of life where you want to be intimate with others in some way or another, and have the faintest idea how to have an orgasm, why you're losing your erection, cumming too quickly, or a myriad other issues. Seeking a sex therapist can help you fill in the gaps between "the talk" you probably never got at age 12 and all of the countless- Don't have sex or die from herpes messages you've received since then. Sometimes with adequate information about sexual anatomy and physiology as well as how the sexual response cycle works, the psychology of human sexuality and the social contexts of sex - you can go on and design the sex life you want to have with the people you want to have it with.
Michael DeMarco, PhD is a certified clinical sexologist, certified sex therapist and licensed psychotherapist in New Orleans and New York.